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You
sucked again! Guess what you have to do?
The Tossed Salad Man? No, no, I'll pick the games better,
I will! I'll learn to pick! I don't want to toss a salad.
I'm no better at shelling greens than I have been at
picking games in weeks 10-12... Last week, in light
of my struggles of late, I studied team histories, wins
and losses against the spread, favorite and underdog
records, even rivalry records. And what did I come out
with? A week 11 record only the Duke Blue Devil Football
program could be proud of. Well, I'm accustomed to winning,
so I won't take it anymore. I'm going to win once and
for all, if I have to go with my gut in every game,
I will. Here's my picks, reasons, and even a little
humor for the start of Holiday Season. As it turns out,
look for the team with the best record to find themselves
on top.
Atlanta
(-3) at Detroit - Atlanta only loses to teams who
force the issue on the ground. The Lions couldn't manage
to rush for over a hundred yards if their contracts
depended on it. In Atlanta's 4 losses, they've given
up loads of yards on the ground. Two weeks ago it was
Samkon Gado running over the Falcons, this last week
it was Cadillac Williams. Fortunately for the Falcons,
they won't be tormented by a strong rushing attack in
Detroit, starting tail back Kevan Jones hasn't eclipsed
the 100 yard mark once this season. Look for Atlanta
to get off the train tracks and on the right track.
Game Date: 11/24/05 12:35 ET
Denver
(-2.5) at Dallas - I've never been more excited
for this match-up. I'm guaranteed one of these overachievers
will lose. Unfortunately one will win. The Broncos are
much better than I could have ever dreamed (nightmare),
and the Cowboys can barely slip past the Lions. That's
right, I don't care how many games they've one, I have
a pretty strong feeling Denver will show everyone how
funny it looks when Drew Bledsoe tries to escape pressure.
I see a short video of a man trying so hard to move
forward on a treadmill but the forward speed is impossible
to eclipse, as he eventually gives up and gets sucked
under 4 defensive linemen who used to play for Cleveland.
Mike Shanahan for president... shit, that asshole would
be an upgrade. Game Date: 11/24/05 16:20 ET
Baltimore
at Cincinnati (-9.5) - Baltimore's been playing
better. They beat the Pittsburgh Steelers... Blah, blah,
blah... Save that stuffing for the turkey. The Bengals
may have fallen short in Indy, but the didn' t give
up and almost came back to tie it at the end of regulation.
Cinci still possesses Carson Palmer and Chad Johnson,
a combination Baltimore will find utterly impossible
to slow down on Sunday. Look at the last match-up between
these division foes. This one should be a remix addition
on that game where Cinci was pissin' all over Baltimore.
Game Date: 11/27/05 13:00 ET
Carolina
(-4.5) at Buffalo - Chicago, Miami, and New Orleans.
These are the only teams the Panthers have failed against.
This game in Buffalo is important, very important, Bambi's
dad shot by a hunter important. They won't lose. The
only time the Panthers have lost all year is when focus
has been forgotten. The first game of the season against
the Saints, Carolina expected to dominate, to say the
least - they didn't. Miami has no place taking out Carolina,
and last week the Panther's were riding a winning streak
they thought would give them victory all by itself.
Well, after realizing that they can't imagine themselves
to Wonderland like Alice, they'll wake-up and smoke
the Bills like a Clinton cigar. Game Date: 11/27/05
13:00 ET
Chicago
at Tampa Bay (-3) - The Bucs have their running
game back in tact. The bears will remove it from the
field of play. Cadillac will have few yards, but a big
touchdown, leading the Bucs to victory over the best
defense in football. The Bears and Bucs will have one
of footballs greatest defensive battles this season.
Think about the Bengal - Colt game and completely reverse
it. Tampa Bay will take this one by a touchdown, the
only one scored all day in Tampa.
Game Date: 11/27/05 13:00 ET
Cleveland
at Minnesota (-4) - The Vikings have done something
I didn't think was possible... won three games in a
row. Amazing! Brad Johnson looks terrible play in and
play out, plus he's like 50. Mewelde Moore played possessed
for Minnesota. It just seems like each of the past three
weeks the Vikings stumble upon victory somehow. Whose
to say it will stop at home against the Browns? Not
I.
Game Date: 11/27/05 13:00 ET
New
England at Kansas City (-3) - The Patriots are
still overrated. They could finish the season at 8-8
and in the playoffs in their division. That's what's
going to happen. The Chiefs need this game a million
times more than the Patriots do. The Chiefs are better
than New England and they have Larry Johnson. Over 500
yards rushing in the last 3 games Larry Johnson. Kid
is for real. Larry will be on his game to take the Patriot
mystique down a notch Thanks Giving Weekend. Game
Date: 11/27/05 13:00 ET
San
Diego (-3) at Washington - The Chargers are one
of the leagues best teams. After a slow, luckless start,
they're back to dominating their opponents. The Redskins
on the other hand, are showing the world what I had
figured all along, they're a .500 ball club at best.
We're balls deep into the season, where losses to division
celler teams like Oakland destroy playoff hopes outright.
Washington won't recover in time. The Chargers are too
productive on both sides of the ball.
Game Date: 11/27/05 13:00 ET
San
Francisco at Tennessee (-7) - The Titans have
some young breaths of life these days. Drew Bennett
is back, taking pressure off McNair, Chris Brown, Erron
kinney, and the rest of the Titans' young receiving
corps. San Francisco is starting Ken Dorsey at quarterback
for the second straight week. Look for Brown to have
a huge day on the ground while the Titans slow San Fran
to a Drew Bledsoe like crawl (sprint) all day long.
Game Date: 11/27/05 13:00 ET
St.
Louis (-3.5) at Houston -The Rams played like a
pile of rabbit droppings last week. Even stud runner
Steven Jackson didn't rush for more than 20 yards against
the pathetic Arizona rushing defense. The Rams will
rediscover their need to give the ball to Jackson over
and over again in Houston. After giving up 211 yards
to Larry Johnson last week, St. Louis will be looking
to give it to Houston, while the Texans will attempt
to change a few things. My guess is the Rams come out
on top of this battle. Jackson will sing his dreadlock
buddy, Bob Marley's, Redemption Song for his Rams and
Fantasy Owners alike.
Game Date: 11/27/05 13:00 ET
Jacksonville
(-3.5) at Arizona - The Cardinals aren't good just
because they took advantage of a Rams team that pisses
the bed biweekly. They are bad. They have a bad offensive
line, a bad defense, and a quarterback that doesn't
win anymore. Jacksonville on the other hand, has scored
30+ each of the last two weeks after going 58 games
without reaching the 30 point plateau. They needed it
last week, and they'll play high scoring football this
week in Arizona. Look for a trouncing by the Jaguars.
Game Date: 11/27/05 16:05 ET
Miami
at Oakland (-7) - The Raiders will take down
Nick Saban's Dolphins. Saban's got it right, Miami doesn't
need to win. In fact, he might be the smartest coach
in the league. His team's out of it, he's got young
players who may or may not be on the team next year,
he needs to make personnel decisions. If he's the worst
team in the league he might get Matt Leinart. Who thinks
Miami needs to win now? Think about it. Randy Moss will
have his biggest game of the year, despite Kerry Collins
throwing like a boxer on the ropes. Moss is sick of
the criticism he's been getting because Collins throws
like a pussy every damn down. Moss scores more points
than Miami in this one. Game Date: 11/27/05 16:05
ET
Green
Bay at Philadelphia (-2) - The Eagles are led
by a young gun slinger with running capabilities. Weird.
Remember when Donovan used to be exactly that? McMahon
gives the Eagles enough play making ability to win games.
They'll show that this weekend at home against the woeful
Packers. Game Date: 11/27/05 16:15 ET
N.Y.
Giants at Seattle (-5) - The Hawks are the much
better team here. Their offensive line is better, their
running back is better, their quarterback is better,
and their secondary is better. Did I mention coaching?
Much better in Seattle. The Hawks are always tough at
home, and always tough against the Giants. Matt Hasselbeck
will throw three touchdowns in this contest as the Giants
attempt to shut down Shaun Alexander. Unfortunately,
you can't stop Shaun. The Hawks win big in Seattle.
Game Date: 11/27/05 16:15 ET
New
Orleans (+3) at N.Y. Jets - Yeah! Football! Everyone
loves a good 1st round pick contest. To the loser goes
Reggie Bush. Wait, to the loser goes Matt Leinart. Vince
Young? Holy crap, either team would take a good look
at me if I showed up at practice. This game will be
ugly, but the Jets have the worst chance of winning
football games right now. The Saints are out of any
playoff or season saving chances, so they're ready to
start playing well. As it always is. That's unfortunate
for New Orleans (lower pick) but it works for me. Money
in the bank! Game Date: 11/27/05 20:40 ET
Pittsburgh
@ Indianapolis (-6) - The Colts amazed me last
week. Peyton is amazing, though I still think the MVP
belongs with Carson Palmer in the AFC, and Edgerrin
James is dominate. What a game plan out of Dungy's Colts.
The Steelers won't be on track quite yet with Big Ben's
big return scheduled for this Monday. They'll be better
with Ben in there, but not good enough to disrupt the
Colt's winning ways. 11-0? Undefeated? Game
Date: 11/28/05 21:00 ET
WAGERING
SMART MAKES WATCHING NFL GAMES MORE FUN
Good
Luck with your NFL Football Betting!
Lucky Lester - Free
Football Picks
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