Top 5 NFL Picks: Arses Picks Week 13 2010

Top 5 NFL Free Picks: Week 13 NFL 2010 Predictions

My family flew up to visit me for the Thanksgiving Holiday, that was nice. The NFL picks, not so nice. My brother also had trouble fighting through the darkness, he sleep-walked into my closet and pooped on my extra pillow. Somebody actually pooped on my pillow. I wasn’t mad, just amazed. It was amazing. So I lost a bunch of dough and the poop thing. On the bright side (there is no bright side in Alaska in the winter, it’s more like the dusk side) it is a degree up here, so the poop was basically frozen before it touched down, making clean up a snap! Everything else was peachy. This week, I’m trying to make my money back, and suddenly, as I write that, I feel like a true gambler. Busted….

Starting Account Total: $1000
At Risk This Week: $500 to Win $475
Money Left: $914 with $500 of that on the line
Total W/L Last Week: (1-3-1)
Season W/L Record – Individual Games: (31-25-3)

Week 12 Picks Review

New Orleans Saints (-3) @ Dallas Cowboys (Bet $100 to WIN $95) (PUSH)
Green Bay Packers (+2) @ Atlanta Falcons (Bet $100 to WIN $95) (Loss)
Minnesota Vikings (+1.5) @ Washington Redskins (Bet $100 to WIN $95) (WIN)
Cleveland Browns (-10) @ HOME vs. Carolina Panthers (Bet $100 to WIN $95) (Loss)
Arizona Cardinals (+1) @ HOME vs. San Francisco 49ers (Bet $100 to WIN $95) (Loss)

I was doused in frozen pooh this week, or my pillow was – but I’m still funny so you can keep track of me on TWITTER @AlaskanArse. I’ll update my thoughts on games, my picks and fantasy observations alike. Here’s a link to Week 1′s article if you need a little more explanation of the way I’m keeping track.

Here are Week 13′s picks and bets.

(All games this week are Bet $100 to WIN $95)

Chicago Bears (-3) @ Detroit Lions
Honestly, no Shaun Hill, no Matthew Stafford, Jahvid Best walking without functioning toes, what the hell is Detroit going to do to score? Have Calvin Johnson take the snap, roll out to the right, and throw the damn thing to himself? Sorry, against the Cardinals, maybe, but against the Bears? Even with Chicago having to fall down from their perfect game last week, three points seems like a must, right? Right?

New Orleans Saints (-6.5) @ Cincinnati Bengals
I know that the Bengals have had some tough luck this year, but most of that “luck” is a mix of bad ju-ju and a giant lack of consistency. The Bengals can’t run, Palmer can’t be accurate, he’s like a drunk mammal without thumbs throwing darts. Bad. The Saints should turn the Bengals over, not 1 or 2 times, completely, they will be the Cincinnati Turnovers, and they will have a mascot that looks like a pastry.

Green Bay Packers (-8.5) @ HOME VS. San Francisco 49ers
Those silly 49ers think they can beat up on the Cardinals then compete with the likes of Green Bay? Please… I watched the game, and the 49ers made way too many “bad team” mistakes. Green Bay is a good team, they are going to gobble those mishaps right up.

St. Louis Rams (-3) @ Arizona Cardinals
Getting screwed by the Cardinals felt like my own fault. How could I pick a team with Derek Anderson starting at QB, no running game to speak of, and Matt Leinart with a giant Ken Whisenhunt voodoo doll and all the needles a guy can ask for without getting a bunch of points? Seriously, Matt Leinart would have the Cardinals in first place in the West right now. I kid you not. As for this one, the Rams are mediocre but getting better. The Cardinals are bad. Real bad. And as long as Matty Trojan has the needle, they’re getting worse.

Atlanta Falcons (-3) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
The Falcons are a very good team, maybe the best in the NFC, and they are feeling it. While the Bucs are a hard team to beat, a team that makes you beat the, I think the Falcons are up to the task. They have it all right now, and I don’t think the Bucs can crack them.